5 Things Parents Should Stop Doing Right Away!

Updated: Feb 4, 2020

We know parenting is no child's play and there's no guide to getting everything right, but here are 5 things that parents should stop doing.

Read on to find out the Top 5 Things Parents should stop doing: 1) Say 'Hello' to Uncle/ Aunty- One of the best ways to push a kid toward an anxiety disorder is to badger them about being shy and force them to say hello to people they feel uncomfortable with. And when the parental exhortation includes a command to hug, shake hands, or kiss, it’s essentially saying “your body and boundaries are meaningless and can be overridden by anyone with more authority than you.” Given the recent cultural moment of #metoo, maybe that’s not the best takeaway for shy kids.

2) Sibling Comparisons- Sibling rivalries can be incredibly damaging. In fact, violence in a family home is more likely to be between siblings than between parents and kids. The last thing a tense relationship needs is additional competitive pressure from parents.

3) 'Stop it right now or else'- We know you might be saying this out of habit but it doesn't really work because you’re teaching them a skill (threatening) you don’t really want them to have: the ability to use brute force or superior cunning to get what they want, even when the other person isn’t willing to cooperate. You’re also putting yourself in an awkward position in which you either have to follow through on your threats—exacting a punishment you threatened in the heat of your anger—or you can back down, teaching your child that your threats are meaningless. Either way, you’re not getting the result you want and you’re damaging your connection with your child. While it can be difficult to resist the urge to threaten, try sharing vulnerably and redirecting to something more appropriate instead. “It’s NOT OK to hit your brother. I’m worried that he will get hurt, or he’ll retaliate and hurt you. Teach kids nonviolent responses like counting to 20 or venting emotions through writing or drawing. By offering an alternative that is safer yet still allows the child to express her feelings you’re validating her emotions even as you set a clear boundary for her behavior. This will ultimately lead to better self-control and emotional wellbeing for your child.

4) Wait! Let me do it for you

You may be in a rush to leave or your child just isn't getting the right answers on his homework. In many cases, it's tempting to take matters into your own hands, but doing so can make kids feel like they're not good enough or keep them from learning. Instead, try a collaborate approach and suggest you both work on the problem together. Lead kids to the answer through questions and explanations instead of straight out doing it for them.

5) Saying 'I'll give you chocolate if you eat your vegetables'

This is a short-term solution for dealing with picky eaters- offering desserts/ candy or chocolate as a reward for eating vegetables or trying a new food, but this tactic can have long-term consequences. Using desserts as a reward sends a message that other "have-to-eat" foods aren't as good as desserts. Also, kids who see food as a reward may turn into adults who also seek food as reward and are more likely to binge-eat or diet.

We all know how difficult it is to handle angry children, picky eaters or even dealing with sudden tantrums at a toy store. Keep the pointers from this article in mind, it'll only help you get better at handling your adorable little one!

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